I have so many thoughts, concerns, questions, issues, etc. going on in my mind right now. I am truly having a very difficult time dealing with the set of cards I have been dealt with in life. I am the type of person who has to plan things out, and prepare myself for every task. And this is imposible to do with a divorce and custody battle. Honestly, I believe this would be easier to deal with if I initiated or filed for the divorce before he did. Then I would have carefully planned my exit strategy but now I feel like I am in a room running in circles and he is holding the key for me to get out. I play spades very often and consider myself good at it so I use it as an analogy to get through this situation. My life right now is like a very bad hand-- one or two small spades, at least 3 cards in every suit, and no face cards. What do you do??-- play the game with the cards that you have or immediately quit and give up. Well Im not choosing to quit and give up but it doesnt mean that I am content or happy about the set of cards I was given. My attitude is that the dealer gave me a very bad set of cards so I will finish out this hand and just hope and pray that the next hand will be much much better because the game is not over.